Best of Late Night
“Someone check who that dog voted for,” Trevor Noah said after the president-elect fractured his foot while playing with his German shepherd.
“He shouldn’t be walking; he should be riding a golf cart everywhere,” Trevor Noah said of Joseph R. Biden Jr. “It’s called being presidential.”Credit…Comedy Central
- Dec. 1, 2020
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
President-elect Joseph R. Biden Jr. fractured his foot over the weekend while playing with Major, his German shepherd. He’ll have to wear an orthopedic boot for a while.
“So in a way, Trump and Biden both got the boot this month,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday. Trevor Noah was suspicious: “Someone check who that dog voted for,” he said.
“He suffered hairline fractures in his right foot. Even the eventful things that happen to Joe Biden are uneventful.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Biden was like, ‘Ah, it’s no big deal; I’ve been dealing with a fractured hairline for years.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Apparently, he slipped and fell while playing with Major, his dog. The Pentagon today announced that Major has been demoted to captain.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And why does Biden need a walking boot? He shouldn’t be walking; he should be riding a golf cart everywhere. It’s called being presidential.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I feel bad for Biden, though. Nobody wants to start a new job in a walking boot. It’s hard to act tough with China when you have to leave a press conference on one of those knee scooters.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Speaking of Donald Trump, Bloatus weighed in on Biden’s injury last night. On Twitter, he wrote, ‘Get well soon!’ He’s just jealous because Biden has a dog and all he has is Mike Pence.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Can you imagine Trump having a dog? I can’t picture him feeding anyone but himself. The closest Trump gets to that is when he feeds Giuliani a bucket of frozen mice.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“When the news broke, Kamala Harris was stretching in the bullpen like, ‘I guess I’m getting in the game sooner than I thought.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“They’re still in their 50s, so it was kind of like watching a fight scene from ‘The Irishman,’ except with double the amount of Black people from ‘The Irishman.’” — TREVOR NOAH, on Mike Tyson’s fighting Roy Jones Jr. over the weekend
“Who is this person disguised as Mike Tyson? What happened to the guy who said he would eat your children? And bit off two human ears? I guess this marijuana really works.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on Tyson’s mellow reaction to the fight being called a draw
“Even half-baked, Tyson looked pretty good. Roy Jones was hanging on to him for dear life. It was less of a fight — it was more like two old friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time, they just got the vaccine.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Now I know some people didn’t think this fight was worth the $50 they paid on pay-per-view, but right now, people, this is the only place you can see two middle-aged men fighting. I mean, now that Covid has canceled all the Little League games, where else are you going to get that action, baby?” — TREVOR NOAH
Monday’s “Late Show” offered Part 2 of Stephen Colbert’s interview with Barack Obama.
Keanu Reeves will join Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Image Noma Dumezweni and Hugh Grant in the finale of “The Undoing.” The show’s title had multiple meanings, said the creator, David E. Kelley.Credit…Niko Tavernise/HBOContinue reading the main story